


I'm good in bed, But I'm better with a pen

by mitochondrials



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 19:09:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11835153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitochondrials/pseuds/mitochondrials
Summary: Bucky yearns for the days when he was a smooth talking flirt because silently pining for Tony isn't so great. But the silently pining only works when Bucky isn't opening his big dumb mouth during a regular conversation, randomly blurting things like "I forgot how to masturbate".Now Tony's helping him understand sex ed and he may be dying inside.





	I'm good in bed, But I'm better with a pen

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the unanswered prompt originally found on [Imagine Tony and Bucky](http://imaginetonyandbucky.tumblr.com/post/164175871716/unanswered-prompts):
> 
>  
> 
> _While Bucky could flirt like a pro with the Dames in the 40’s with the Fellas he was a shy babbling mess. Not much has changed in 70 plus years it seems. When the words “I forgot how to masturbate, could you show me how?” spill out of his mouth Bucky wants the floor to swallow him up, That WAS NOT what he meant to say AT ALL. What hes not expecting is Tony to take the question Seriously and gently guide him through the process. It’s a wonderful kind of torture that Tony’s willing to give Bucky sex lessons, so Bucky just sort of goes with it thinking its his only chance with Tony. Tony wants to make love to Bucky properly and be his boyfriend, but if sex lessons is all he can get then he will help Bucky wow the 21st century. With a Happy Ending?_
> 
>  
> 
> I was immediately drawn to this prompt, though however this came out a little different than the prompter might have originally wanted due to my own personal preference. I do still hope it's a satisfying read, regardless! So please enjoy~.

Bucky was once suave. Once. He knew how to smile just right; a cocky grin here, a quirk of his lips there. He knew how gently to caress his hand along some beautiful, equally as charming young lady’s arm till she was giggling, both of them teasing for things to come when they were to be finally alone. 

Now he couldn’t take one look at Tony without being a hot mess.

Beauty was always touch and go. A pretty face, was, well, stunning. But Bucky loved girls that held a certain passion in their bones. An unbridled desire for adventure. The physical came later. And Tony, Tony was vibrant.

Tony’s ardor for engineering was given, but then there were the days when Bucky would catch him swaying to Beethoven when he thought no one was home in the kitchen. Or the early mornings where Tony obsessed over watching Star Trek while doodling blueprints of space stations and mapping stars when he couldn’t sleep.

(It was also so terribly obvious how sometimes Tony would stare out into the sky in the middle of the night on one of the compounds newly installed balconies, bitter at having the stars taken from him by a wormhole in the sky.

But Tony Stark was not a man to back down from a fight. Not one that was desperately worth winning. Not ever.)

Bucky was brave enough to admit he may or may not be madly in love. (And by may or may not, he meant unquestionably.) It wasn’t like they hadn’t already been friends for months, together battling against the Hydra programming and Bucky’s own damaged mind. It almost felt like years now that doctors and psychiatrists and therapists had been picking through his head.

It was the worst remembering the person he once was, even in fragments, but never able to reclaim the little details that made him, him. Instead, he was left scrambling to figure out who he wanted to be, and what.  

“Stark,” Bucky faltered, like he always did, greeting Tony during Tony’s mid-afternoon kitchen round up.

Tony grinned merrily, making his way towards the freezer where Nat attempted to hide the cool whip. “Jimmy-Boy,” Tony said, greeting back.

Bucky scrunched his nose. “Ugh, fine. Hello, Tony.”

“See, now isn’t that so much better?” Tony practically cooed, delighted when he found his one true love; frozen cool whip.

“I don’t know you can stand eating that,” Bucky said. Not to say he wasn’t mesmerized. Tony ate like what Nat termed, “a college student”. Snack foods and junk, basically. Sort of. They called it cool whip but it was actually Tony’s own recipe of whipped cream and ... gelatin? Bucky couldn’t really remember (his memory was also a hot mess more often than not).

The point is that Tony ate like a teenager but found healthy alternatives for everything. (He even had fresh ramen noodles shipped in, insisting he was a terrible cook but an okay baker.)

“It tastes way better than the store bought,” Tony said, offering Bucky a scoop.

“I believe you,” Bucky refused gently. Too much sugar made his mouth ache, especially due to the serum. Adjusting to the sugar peppered in everything outside of Tony’s expensive grocery selections was already bad enough.

But then Tony was moaning, the cool whip coating his lips in a white gooey mess that made Bucky’s mind go blank.

Right. Who did Bucky want to be?

The man that got to worship Tony like Tony deserved. To be the one to love him tenderly, to caress and feel every inch of Tony’s skin, to hear Tony’s breathless gasps. To feel Tony writhing in pleasure because he deserved it.

Which is why, of course, Bucky so elegantly conveyed all of these emotions by blurting, “I don’t remember how to masturbate!”

Excellent. Right on the money.

“I, I mean. I don’t,” Bucky choked, his face flushing a nice and horrifying crimson red. He didn’t mean to say that. “I don’t remember how.”

_Mother of fucking hell, Barnes what the fuck is wrong with you!?_

A gentle touch on his flesh and blood wrist zapped him out of his thoughts,

“Hey,” Tony said, surprisingly calm and collected for something so ungodly awkward. “There isn’t nothing I haven’t heard by now. Or done, really. No need to be so uncomfortable.”

“Um,” Bucky tried, blinking. “I. Yes.” He managed eventually after a moment.

He was a fucking idiot.

“Bet you’ve been holding that one in for awhile too, what with Rogers being the absolute worst choice.” Tony continued saying, visibly shivering. “That man is a perverted heathen and I envy him. But you need a much more gentle touch.” A beat. “Uh, which I guess you could argue against me about, but hey, I’m a master of tact.”

“Wha …” Bucky wasn’t expecting Tony to take him so … seriously. Then Tony’s words caught up to him and he snorted. “Yeah, Stevie is a gentle brute but he’s pretty bad with conveying what he means.” _Still_. He felt some of the tension drain out of him. He was absolutely mortified, but yes, better. Tony was good at that.

“Here, no one’s on the communal floor right now we can have Fri load up some educational vids on the tv to watch together,” Tony said, leading him towards the living room.

Bucky blinked, dumbly following along in silence.

Tony decided to begin with a basic sex ed course, starting a video that covered anatomy and the biology behind intercourse. It talked about how to properly care for yourself and so on.

And.

_Wow._

Bucky wasn’t a virgin. Not by a long shot, but the world had definitely progressed. He was vaguely aware of it, obviously, yet everything else took precedence. Because his mental health was vitally important, Tony had told him so many times before.

Water-based lube was an exciting new development, he regarded as the next video loaded.  So were the latex condoms and latex-free condoms. And, oh, dental dams? He liked dental dams.

(All of it was exciting.

How the fuck was this even his life?)

When the video on sex toys started he felt his arousal shoot through him. Oh. He swallowed thickly, avoiding eye contact with Tony who was pressed closely next to him on the tiny love seat everyone always fought over to sit in.

“I’m figuring getting it up isn’t a problem?” Tony asked abruptly.

“ .. No, not, not in the slightest,” Bucky decided to answer honestly, albeit stiffly, “I feel like the serum makes it ...worse.”  He mumbled the last part, biting his lip. He had to reposition himself, but not before Tony caught a glimpse, curiously checking him over with a clever eye.

“Oh,” Tony mouthed softly, announcing his observation.

“Um, yeah,” Bucky said helplessly. He was practically ninety years old, somewhere in his early thirties if you paying proper attention, but he felt like he was fifteen again.

“I have toys on hand, should you like,” Tony said gently. He wasn’t being judgmental, or, god, weirded out. How did anyone think Tony was this villainous, selfish man? And, and--

“Your toys!?” Bucky gawked. As in, toys Tony not only owned but, used?

“Properly sanitized, safe to use.” Tony nodded, signaling for Friday to shut the tv off. “I always store them with a condom in an antibacterial box, too, if that helps any.”

No, no it did not. Bucky hesitantly gripped himself through his jeans, fighting back a moan. This was bad. This was really bad. This was the stupidest circumstance Bucky got himself into since that incident with Sam down at the supermarket.

Well, you’re definitely not gonna be smooth talking yourself out if, are you, Barnes?

“I, um. I might have to confess something really stupid. And horrible. And you might be mad. Or, I don’t know, pissed even.” He said.

Tony huffed, unimpressed, “Doubtful.”

Bucky closed his eyes and braced himself. “I like you. Just so you know. Uh. But I’m, I’m also a moron who doesn’t know how to just tell you I like you without it getting weird. Hence,” He gestured around himself.

“Mm,” Tony merely hummed. “But I’d reasonably argue, have you masturbated since you’ve successfully escaped Hydra? Since you’ve been more stable from day to day?”

“No,” Bucky answered with surprising ease. “Sex’s been the farthest from my mind, until, well,  recently.” Until you. But he waited to voice that particular thought.

“Is that so?” Tony was suddenly sporting a cocky grin, “Well I’ll be.”

“Oh, shut your damn mouth!”

“But if I do I how am I gonna say my offer still stands, hmm?”

“It, it does?” Bucky stammered. “I mean, that doesn’t, that doesn’t freak you out?”

Tony grunted, waving a hand. “I already said nothing bothers me anymore when it comes to sex. Literally nothing. Plus you’re pretty cute, you know. Imagine getting to share your most intimate toys with a beefy super soldier, and then tell me how you’d feel.”

“I’d rather talk about how I have a raging hard on thinking about using this really cute geniuses dildos because he secretly wants me to die from embarrassment.”

“Dildos, vibrators, anal stimulators. The works.” Tony counted off on one hand. He knew exactly what he was doing, the jerk. “I’ve got a date in there too.”

Bucky grumbled into his hands, “You’re awful. I accept.”

Maybe he was okay not being his old smooth as butter self as he’d once been. Tony was smooth enough for the both of them. Not to mention more loving than Bucky could have ever even dreamed once they both were comfortable enough to move past heated make out sessions and detailing their masturbation sessions to each other. Bucky could definitely live with that.   

**Author's Note:**

> Adding all the way down here that title is lyrics taken from Fall Out Boy's "Fame < Infamy". It's mostly about narcissism but it always makes me think about masturbation so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯.


End file.
